tinkering

One of the problems of being a perfectionist - especially a lazy one - is knowing when to stop. And then actually doing it.

When I started writing poetry - still less than a year ago - I had to face the conflict between the creative voice that just wanted to say what it felt, and the perfectionist voice that wanted to correct things and move things around and - well, you know. It's that same part that is forever spotting spelling mistakes while the creative voice is trying to get a whole thought out and on paper (or screen). I pretty soon learned to just shut up and type whatever the creative voice said. It seemed like an interference not to. In fact it seemed to be a lack of respect to make any comment DURING the writing process. And that's maybe how what I do differs from songwriting. I don't care about rhymes or line length - unless that's what the creative voice wants to use as its medium.

The other day I found a feature by which I could change the time zone that blogger uses - a sad mistake, as it pushed posts off into different days and undid my attempts to put the correct time on things. Why would I want it to be right anyway? Who really cares if I write at midday or midnight? And so the tinkerer got busy. I've just noticed that one of my recent posts has completely lost the date on it! And part of me really cares about that! The creative voice - or is it the lazy voice? - is just saying - wait, listen, read the words and notice...

And still the perfectionist wants to be heard - to be recognised - to be acknowledged.

Simon

where's the beef?

It's been pointed out to me that there's very little poetry in this blog. You're right, Ali. Maybe I should explain where I'm coming from. For years I did no creative work; I had no idea I could write creatively. As for being a poet - no, not me. And then it all changed. I was introduced to haiku - what a songwriter friend describes as the creative equivalent of doing a crossword. I found it an interesting challenge to express myself in so few words - and great when it worked out. And I found I could do it quickly.

But to me, haiku was an occasional hobby; something I did to fill in the time - like doodling while listening to another trainer give his presentation. I needed more. Last November I started to write more freely - for the first time! I'd kept a private journal for years - but no-one ever saw that. Now I was writing stuff that I wanted to share. Like my photos it became very quickly a way of showing people what I notice - and that's important.

This blog was started as a way of showing what my creative process is - what's behind the poetry. The poetry is on my website. www.facilitator.demon.co.uk and so are some of my photos. I plan to get a more snappy web name and a better layout - but that costs money - and some organisation.

So, will this blog get more poetry? Yes, probably.

the moving finger writes
who knows what is to be said
I start each line not knowing
where the next will go
I follow the muse within

Simon.

being noticed

One thing that I suppose all creative artists go through is the phenomenon of being noticed - or not. And that can be troubling - or not.
In fact, it's just about anybody who goes through it. Sometimes it's great to walk down the street and be ignored. Sometimes it's great to walk down the street and be seen by everyone. I live in a quiet neighbourhood where my neighbours either see nothing or everything; there doesn't seem to be a middle ground.
When I set up this blog, I left the comments option open - because it seemed like a good thing to have people leave comments. Until today. I hadn't checked the blog for a few days and I was amazed to see not one but nine comments. I thought wow! until I read them - and found that spammers have found blogs. Damn - is nowhere safe? I'd say something rude about them except that I'm sure spammers never read what's said.
And there's a balance somewhere - I'd love to be able to shout from the rooftops and say - "hey, look at me - I've written loads of stuff and taken loads of photos - how about coming in and seeing". And if we all did that - just think of the cacophony.
Sunday I walked past a local theatre with a sign outside saying "Open Space" - and it wasn't until after that I realised it meant that some local artists had taken over the place for a free art show. They've done it before at another venue, and it was great to meet the artists - even though it was daunting to be the only visitor for 20 artists!
And this time it was me, just walking past.

I had an experience of being "someone" during the recent living history. For a couple of days I played a peasant - the stablemaster - noticed and respected by his family; acknowledged by the steward of the manor; but otherwise ignored. Then I played a Bishop; not just any Bishop, but William Laud, who went on to be Archbishop of Canterbury and one of the most powerful men in the country (for a while). And what I noticed was the wave of impact my presence had. As I walked around people bowed, doffed their caps, were very polite to me - and it was rather nice... In fact it became almost a sport to drift around quietly and watch the reaction as other characters caught sight of me. So, that's what celebs and the high and mighty do, is it?

The peak of it was to walk around in the company of other powerful people - the ultimate being the King. What a rush! Until we (as actors) remembered what happened to each of our characters in the twenty years to follow (1628 to 1648) - each got their come-uppance in the Civil War which was 14 years in the future.

And then, returning to "real" life - and finding a flower amongst the spam. A fellow creative; a fellow traveller lost in the mists of emotion and turmoil. And to find a link to my blog on hers - nice! This is how real communities form. Long may it continue.

Simon.